Contemporary Christian artist and adult MK Steve Green passed through southern Ontario in June to perform at a local event, and we were very fortunate to have the chance to speak with him during this time. In this interview, Steve comments on some of the same topics we’ve been exploring as a community in our forums, including his experiences as a missionary kid and his reflections about the benefits and challenges of the TCK lifestyle. Thanks to those of our members who sent us interview questions!


Dana
Could tell us a little bit about what led your parents to the mission field, and ultimately what led you to become an MK?

Steve
Well my father was a pastor in Portland, Oregon, and he had graduated from seminary and as happens with many seminary students he had four children while at seminary (laughing) and one before seminary. So he finished and started pastoring with five kids. They attended a missions conference, and at the missions conference heard about the need in northern Argentina. So they prayed and applied to the mission field. They were turned down because of the five kids. I think the mission had a policy of no more than four kids. So they were turned down and they replied saying that they really were convinced that this is what the Lord had for them and if this mission wouldn’t let them go under their auspices then they would find someone else. And so the mission board wrote back and said, “Well, ok, we’ll make an exception and you can go.” They raised their support and off they went to language school in Costa Rica and then three terms in Argentina.

Dana
How old were you when you moved to Argentina?

Steve
I was four years old when we moved to Costa Rica for language school, and five when we arrived in Argentina. We had several furloughs back and forth, but finally came back at age 18.

Dana
Do you remember experiencing any culture shock when you first hit Costa Rica?

Steve
Well, at four years of age, it’s kind of hard to – you know – I mean home is wherever your mother is really (laughing). Yes, I did recognize differences. Yes, I knew we were away from family. We had a live-in maid because both of my parents were studying Spanish and so of course there was some sense of being out of sorts. And then, I think going to a kindergarten at that early age, I think what I remember is the beginning of the feeling of being unsettled. You know, things were just not normal. Mom wasn’t at home anymore. She was in school, they were busy, the language was different, the smells were different, you know, just a little bit of uneasiness.

Dana
After moving to Argentina and settling in there, what were your favorite childhood past-times?

Steve
Well, let’s see. You know, I had a younger brother and younger sister at home. In fact, the very day we arrived in Argentina, they [my older brother and older sister] were put in a boarding school, so that was a surprise to the entire family. My parents had not expected that sudden of a separation, and so it was pretty traumatic. We landed at the airport, the missionaries showed up and said “We are going to put your kids right in school.” It was just sort of a tearing before we had any time to prepare for it.

So I had a younger brother and younger sister, and of course we played together. We learned to play soccer in the streets with neighbor kids. We had fun on bicycles eventually, and our back yard was our whole haven. So I think my earliest childhood memories were just playing in the back yard, making things, finding a few neighbor friends, and learning how to play football. [There was] no television, no nothing. If you wanted to play you had to make your toys and have fun being creative.

Joel
You started boarding school at age eight, and you’ve mentioned elsewhere that it was a difficult experience for you.

Steve
Yeah, it was. You know, it’s interesting that for some kids—and I’ve talked to many MKs over the years, and some had a relatively good experience—I think it just depends on the kind of kid. I was a homebody. I did not want to go to boarding school. I would have preferred to stay home and go to a public school and just stay with my parents. And on the way to the boarding school—my older brother and sister were already there—I remember having to have them stop the car and vomit several times just from nerves and panic.

I think back then the prevailing attitude among missionaries was, ‘If we serve God he’ll take care of our kids’. And I think the parents were instructed not to show any emotion ’cause that might make it hard on the kids. So I mean it was a confusing time when you think ‘This is tearing me apart, but my parents seem fine with it. So they’re supposedly serving God, so maybe this is what God wants, but man I sure hate it.’ And I remember standing at the window of the little boarding room and watching their tail lights go off in the distance, and just sobbing. And of course with time I adapted and survived, but not without, I think, a real sense of abandonment and loss, and having to begin at a real early age just fending for myself. You know, houseparents can’t get around to everyone, so you have to figure out things for yourself and figure out ways to survive. So yeah, I think that there were some good memories. [We had] fun with horses, we had bicycles, we had camping trips. They tried to make it an enjoyable experience for us, and some of it was. But it doesn’t erase the wounding of little hearts that long for home and can’t be home.

Joel
One of the topics in our forums at mkPLANET is called ‘What MKs wish dorm parents knew’, and we were wondering what general suggestions you might have for dorm parents from an MK’s perspective?

Steve
You know, every parent has a certain parenting style—their own personality. Let’s see, how many dorm parents did I have? I might have had four or five different sets of dorm parents (laughing) in the time I was there. And some were, in my personal estimation, just crazy. You know, they were so unlike my parents or the housemother, so unlike my Mom that I just couldn’t relate at all. My Mom was this tender-hearted, compassionate, take care of you, sit up with you when you’re sick—and I think, if anything, I would want houseparents to just really take the time to get to know each kid and their personal needs. There was no interviewing, there was no sit down and really try to find out what makes this kid tick. Treating each kid exactly the same, having a set of rules that applies to every child doesn’t work all the time—it doesn’t even work in a real family. All of a sudden it feels like you’re in a prison camp, or their style maybe fits some kids or their own kids, but just doesn’t fit at all with other children. So I think that’s part of it, and I would suggest now even having a counsellor on staff, someone who is in touch with the emotional needs of children. Back then everything was so spiritualized, you know, ‘We’re serving God, get over it.’ (laughing) And that just doesn’t work for little kids. I think just taking the time to really get to know them, and find out from the parents about their kids, so you just have an idea of how important it is to get to know that little heart and to be able to shepherd that kid through some difficult times.

Dana
Which of your educational experiences was most rewarding, and why? Also, which was most challenging, and what advice would you give to MKs facing similar challenges?

Steve
Public school was okay. It wasn’t the easiest for me because we were stationed way up in northern Argentina, so it was a very indigenous area and I stood out like a sore thumb. I mean I was the only blond kid with fair skin in the whole school. So I spent a lot of time learning how to just avoid uncomfortable situations, how to find my way towards the school gate so that when it was time to leave I could bolt and then figure out which ways to walk home so that I could avoid the bullies. So that was kind of awkward. Homeschooling, boy I would have loved that. I did it for a while and I thought that was the best for me as a kid. In fact in high school I did two years, my last two years of high school, at home in Argentina by correspondence. While that had difficulties—you know, you’re not in a social environment—still, I think it was probably the best thing. I think you have to just take into consideration where you are and your kid. I’m not a real boarding school fan now (laughing), so I would say either homeschooling, or if there is a day school with a good education, do that. But I still think it’s just important for parents to raise their kids. I suppose in some places maybe that’s not possible (laughing). That seems to be a pretty simple, basic principle. Someone’s going to raise your kid. If you’re having kids, it might as well be you.

READ PART 2 OF OUR INTERVIEW